Oprah has a sister!

Well, more accurately expressed, Oprah has a "half sister". They share the same biological mother but not the same biological father. I tuned in yesterday somewhat reluctantly because I knew if I watched I would be side tracked from the work I need to be doing, and I am. Ultimately, I decided to watch the show under the guise of interest on behalf of the adoptive familes I work with in My TreeHouse. I suppose I thought if I wasn't watching for me, it wouldn't affect me. I was wrong!

What a Cinderella story for adoptees!

"I Found My Family and Oprah is My Sister!"

As an adoptee myself, I have to be careful about casual contact with the subjects of adoption and family and secrets. Questions such as who you look like, and why you were "given away" are quite a distraction...and they are always followed by more unanswered concerns.

"I wonder if I have a half-sister?"

"I wonder if I have a half-brother?"

"I wonder if my biological father is alive?"

"I wonder if he knows about me?"

"I wonder if I would be shunned by him like I was by Bennye?" Bennye is my biological mother's name. She didn't want me when I was born and she still didn't want me when she was dying. I guess we could label that as parenthetical rejection. I like the sound of that for some reason. Maybe it's because it suggests a beginning and an end. Interesting, since there is no end to the list of questions that adoptees live with that will, very likely, never be answered. One question leads to ten more and the lack of answers is no longer a surprise to me but it is always disconcerting.

So, why am I taking time to blog about his topic when it obviously takes me from the present and the tasks that already would have filled my day.

Well...because I have something to say about the whole thing,. Just one thing really, but it is important.

Did you notice, in the sound bites and the follow-up that the big surprise is not Patricia, the person, but the fact that she didn't contact the press and she didn't want anything? Someone on the TV today said exactly that..."she didn't want anything."

Well, actually she wanted to know her mother. She wanted to know why her mother gave her away. She wanted to validate her life. She wanted to know her biological father's identity. She wanted a family, her family.

The family of my "mother", Bennye Joyce Brown, wouldn't let me anywhere near her when she was living, and then when she was dying, because she and they thought I wanted money.

One hour of honest conversation with Bennye about who I am would have been life changing for me. It seems to me that only someone who is not adopted would think of financial gain as the goal...even if Oprah Winfrey is your sister. I guess you have to be without an identity to understand that knowing who you are and where you came from is priceless!